Brown Brown & Associates 'What's New' Blog

• If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
• If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
• If a jogger runs a the speed of sound can he still hear his walkman?
• If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
• If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
• If God sneezes…what should you say?
• If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
• If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
• If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
• If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
• If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?
• If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
• If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
• If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
• If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
• If superglue is so good, why doesn’t it stick to the side of the tube?
• If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?
• If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
• If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?
• If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn’t they call you first?
• If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
• If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?
• If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
• If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
• If you can read the marking, isn’t that end already up?
• If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Adapted from the article “The Eight Classic Types of Workplace Behavior” by Francie M. Dalton

Learn to identify the ‘styles’ of your staff (or committee) members to improve communication.

In any workplace, there are eight classic styles of behavior:  commander, drifter, attacker, pleaser, performer, avoider, analytical, and achiever.  By learning how to identify the general characteristics of each style, managers can optimize their interactions with staff members.

In particular, you will learn what motivates each style of behavior; how to give effective feedback to each behavior style; and tips for getting the best out of each behavior style.

Read more