Brown Brown & Associates 'What's New' Blog

• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as 4’s?
• Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
• Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
• How can someone “draw a blank”?
• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
• How can there be “self help GROUPS”?
• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
• How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
• How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
• How do you know when you’re out of invisible ink?
• How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?
• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
• How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you’re never in darkness?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
• If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
• If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
• If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
• If God dropped acid, would he see people?
• How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?
• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?
• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
• If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?
• If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?
• If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

The Top 10 Reasons You Know You’ve Hired the Wrong Architect

by Hardy Brown, 2009

10. He provides his mother and High school drafting teacher as lone references
9. His teeth and shirt are stained with Cheeto dust at the interview.
8. Man he introduces as his partner has PAROL OFFICER sewn on his pocket..
7. He shares an office with the groomer at Petco..
6. Only responds to committee question with quotes from the matrix.
5. He wears leather moccasins under with his slacks
4. After a brief absence he explains he was competing on WIPE OUT.
3. He has a degree in Agricultural distribution.
2. His web site is filled with pictures of a dog house he designed for his sister.
1. He wears colored socks with individual toes.

Alternates…

He has a Poppa Johns delivery sign on his car.
He asks if he can park his school bus on your property.